Once Upon a Diary
by WingedTypist
Summary: Emma finds out a secret about Regina and has to deal with the repercussions. Swan Queen
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time or any of the characters.  
**

Emma was at the Sheriff's station when her phone began to ring. She picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hi Mom, it's Henry."

"Henry? Where are you?" Emma didn't mean to sound frantic, but it kind of came out that way.

"Mom, relax. I'm at school. Regina called me and told me to tell you to come pick me up. She said she'd explain later."

Emma sighed and rubbed her temples. "Alright, but tell her she can't blame me if I don't finish the reports she wanted by tonight."

"Thanks, you're the best." Henry said before hanging up. Emma put her phone in her pocket and shrugged on her jacket. She still had a ton of work to do, but that could wait until later. Henry couldn't.

Twenty minutes later, Emma was pulling up to Regina's house, Henry in the seat beside her.

"You got everything?" Emma asked.

"Wait, you're not coming in?"

Emma opened her mouth, then closed it, her mind turning over the idea. "Henry, I wasn't invited-"

"I'm inviting you. That's enough, right? I mean, I live here too." He opened the door and stepped out of the car. "Come on!"

Emma drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. "Fine, you know what? I'll come in for a little while. You need any help with your homework?"

Henry grinned and ran to the door, backpack bouncing with each leap. He dug into his pocket and took out a key.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," said Henry as he bounded in.

Emma walked in and shut the door behind her, looking around. She had been in Regina's house before but not without her there. It felt empty and quiet.

Emma turned a corner and opened the door of the library. Regina had talked to her here when she first brought Henry. Since then, she had always wanted to take a closer look at the books, but never got a chance to. She ran her fingertips over the worn leather spines and stopped. In the bottom corner of the wall-to-wall bookshelf she saw a book much shorter and thinner than the rest.

Bending down, she carefully tugged it out of the shelf and flipped through the pages. It was completely handwritten. The first page started with,

 _I don't have much time to write now, but I just wanted to let you know that everything is going well and I feel more at peace than ever before. Perhaps I have found my happiness._

The page went on but Emma flipped forward.

 _A strange woman came to town today. I have a strange feeling about her._

Emma flipper further forward, to the last page, where the words stopped.

 _I thought about her today. I don't know why I feel the way I do. I should hate her, I_ do _hate her. Only, it's different now. I haven't talked about it before, but I've noticed myself making excuses for her to come see me. I say I have more paperwork, I say I need to talk to her. There's just something about her, how she's both calm and intense at the same time. I think I love her, the new Sheriff._

Emma slammed the book closed, her heart pounding in her ears. It was about her and it was in Regina's house and that could only mean one thing: Regina had written this.

She scrambled to shove the book back on the shelf.

"What the hell are you doing?" Regina asked behind her.

Emma whirled around and stood up, brushing off her jacket. "I didn't- I mean, Henry said-"

Regina's arms were crossed. "Henry said you were to pick him up from school and drop him off at my house, correct?"

"Well, yeah but he-"

"So what were you doing just now?"

Emma's face turned red as she scrambled for an answer. "I was just- your books-"

Regina raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips.

"I've always wanted to look at your books and Henry said I could come in but he had to go to the bathroom …" she trailed off, realizing how childish her actions were.

"So you decided you could just barge into my personal space?"

"Whoa, okay. There was no _barging_ -"

"Get out."

"Henry-"

" _Get out."_ Her tone was dangerous.

Emma kept her eyes fixed on the ground as she walked by Regina, out of the library, and out of the house.

As soon as Regina heard the door slam, she rushed to the bookshelf and crouched down next to it. She swore under her breath. The diary was sticking out, as if it was hastily put back.

She sat back on her heels. There was no way of knowing how much Emma had read. Regina closed her eyes tight and mentally smacked herself. The door was closed for a reason, couldn't that woman just take a hint? Even Henry wasn't allowed in here, this was her space. No one was supposed to ever be in here.

Panic tore through her as she thought through the consequences this might have. She had to do something. Fast.


	2. Chapter 2

The bell on top of the door rang as Regina pushed it open.

Rumplestiltskin stood behind the counter, fixing an old clock. He took off his gloves and wiped his hands on a handkerchief. "Good morning, dearie. What can I do for you?"

Regina walked towards him, her heels clicking on the old wooden floor. "I need a forgetting potion."

He raised his eyebrows slightly. "And you need me because…"

Regina glared at him. "Because I do."

He laughed quietly. "You're running out of magic, aren't you?"

"I am _not_ ," she replied hotly. A minute passed with silence between them. "I'm running out of ingredients," Regina admitted in a quiet voice.

"Aha! There's the answer I was looking for. Well, as you know, all magic comes with a price."

"I know, I know. What do you want?"

"What I want," he paused and smirked at Regina, "is to know what you need a forgetting potion for in this perfect little life of yours."

"Stop it. I'll give you whatever you want: gold, money." She flashed him a smile. "What about a new house?"

Rumple slipped his gloves back on and began working on the clock again. "My deal stands, Regina. You can take it or leave it."

Regina discreetly kicked the floor with her shoe in frustration. She could make something up, but she knew Rumple would see right through that. If he saw she was lying, he might not give her the potion no matter what he said.

When she thought about it, she realized it came down to one thing: She could have either Emma or Rumplestiltskin know, but not neither of them.

"Fine, but I'd like to make an addition to the deal."

Rumple looked up and nodded his head once, allowing her to continue.

"You can't ever tell another soul about this."

"Deal." He reached behind the counter, pulled out a long, narrow flask filled with a green liquid, and held it out to Regina. Regina reached for it but Rumple pulled his hand back. "You first."

Regina gritted her teeth and lowered her voice. "I need to make Emma forget something she read in my diary." She lunged for the potion but Rumple pulled it back again.

"Tell me what was in the diary."

Regina opened her mouth in protest. "I told you why I needed it, that's all you asked for."

Rumple thought for a moment before smiling and and holding it out to her. She snatched it away and stormed off. "Don't worry, dearie. I'll find out one way or another. You can't keep a secret in this town for long," he said before she slammed the door shut.

Outside, Regina shivered against the cold autumn wind. She wrapped her hands tightly around the potion and closed her eyes, concentrating on what she wanted Emma to forget. There was a brief flash and a tingling feeling in her hands and she opened her eyes. Satisfied that the color had changed to blue, she walked home, feeling better than she had before. Tonight, she would invite Emma over, they would drink tea, and she would forget everything.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you so much everyone for reading and reviewing! I appreciate every single one of you.**

 **Enjoy!**

Emma was sitting by the docks, looking out onto the bay, thinking. It seemed silly, that something like this could deserve as much thought as she was giving it, but it did. Regina liked her. _Loved_ her, as she had put it. Emma felt guilty and confused and warm at the same time. There was something in her that was excited, like adrenaline was being constantly pumped into her veins whenever she thought about it. It didn't make any sense, she didn't like Regina in that way. Sure, she wasn't bad to be around. Actually, she was pretty fun to be around when she wasn't so uptight.

Just then her phone buzzed and she pulled it out of her coat pocket. Regina had texted her.

 _We need to talk. Tea at 8?_

Emma's heart pounded in her chest. She knew, didn't she? If Regina did know, she didn't seem like the type of person to confront her about it. That would just be awkward. She re-read the text and snorted. Tea. That was typical Regina. Emma hadn't had tea since first moving in with Mary Margaret.

 _Definitely, see you then._

She slid her phone back into her pocket and leaned back on the bench. What was Regina doing right now? The sun was low in the sky so it was probably late afternoon. She and Henry would be home. Maybe she would be helping Henry with homework, maybe she would be cooking dinner. Maybe she was writing in the diary about what had happened yesterday.

Emma shook her head and stood up. She had come here to clear her head, but done anything but that. She started her walk home, with the sun setting behind her and the cold wind blowing through her hair.

~~~~~SQSQSQSQSQ~~~~~

Regina finished clearing the table and checked the clock. 7:45. Emma would be here in fifteen minutes.

"Henry?" she called.

"Yeah?" he said from the living room.

She walked into the room to see him lying on the couch, reading his storybook. "It's time for bed."

He gaped at her. "I'm not five years old, Mom. It's not even eight!"

"Henry, you will go to bed and you will do it now and nothing more will be said about it."

"Mom-"

" _Henry_."

"Sorry," he said quietly. He closed the book and ran upstairs. No doubt he would be reading under the covers, but Regina didn't mind tonight.

She pulled the flask out of her purse and poured the contents into a small glass. For whatever reason, forgetting potions always smelled like whatever attracted someone. Regina inhaled and smelled only cinnamon. She growled under her breath. She could put all this behind her soon.

She poured water into the kettle and put it on the stove. Then she went into the living room and made sure everything looked fine. She checked her hair in the bathroom mirror and inhaled deeply. What had she gotten herself into? She looked at the face in the mirror and sighed. Did it really have to resort to this?

Just then the doorbell rang. Regina ran her fingers through her hair one more time, smoothed out her dress, and went to answer it.

Emma was standing on the doorstep when she opened it, hands in her pockets. "Hey," she said. She was wearing a red top and tight-fitting jeans. Regina pretended not to notice.

"Hello." She smiled. "Come right in." Emma stepped in and Regina closed the door behind her. Regina led Emma into the living room and sat down on the sectional, motioning for Emma to sit across from her.

"Where's Henry?" Emma asked.

"He went to bed early."

Emma laughed. "At eight o'clock?"

Regina raised her eyebrows. "Is there a problem with that?"

Emma scoffed. "The kid's eleven. His friends are probably going to bed at ten by now."

Regina crossed her arms. "That's no reason he should be doing it to. People these days forget how important sleep is, especially for children."

"Okay, okay. I'm not here to argue," Emma said, putting her hands up.

"No," said Regina. She thought about her words carefully. "I wanted to talk about what happened yesterday."

The kettle began to whistle.

"I'll get that," she said. She walked into the kitchen and poured the water into two mugs. Glancing behind her to make sure Emma wasn't watching, she poured the potion into hers. She added the tea bags and walked back to Emma, holding the mugs in her hands. She handed one to Emma.

"Thanks," said Emma, blowing on it to cool it down.

"No problem. So, about yesterday…" Regina trailed off, looking at Emma expectantly.

Emma sighed. "Look, Regina, I'm sorry. I did read that journal-diary thing or whatever it was. Not all of it, but enough. I just figured it was another old book or something and the fact that it was handwritten intrigued me. I'm sorry."

Regina smiled a little. "How many times did you practice saying that in front of the mirror?"

Emma scratched the back of her head. "I'd rather not say." They sat in silence for a moment. "But I am sorry, Regina."

Regina nodded. "What did you read?"

Emma looked down at her tea. "There was a part about me in it."

Regina's stomach turned. "Yes."

"I read that part."

"Oh."

Emma tried talking more to cover up the awkwardness. "But it's okay, though. I don't mind," she said. She lifted up the mug to her nose and inhaled. "Apples." She smiled. "Of course."

Apples. Something about that made Regina want to yank the mug out of Emma's hands and throw it across the room. Apples. Apples that Regina grew from her tree since she was young. Apples that she used to make pies and turnovers. Apples that she had given to Emma when she wanted her to leave Storybrooke.

Why did she feel so nervous watching Emma bring the mug to her lips?

Her mind jolted. _The potion_. The potion smelled like whatever a person was attracted to. How could she forget that? Regina smelled cinnamon because it reminded her of Emma. Emma smelled apples because-

Regina stood up. "Emma, wait-"

But Emma had already taken a large sip. She put down the mug and stared up at Regina.

"Emma?"

"Yeah?"

"How do you feel?" Regina asked.

"What do you mean? I feel fine." Emma looked around. "Why am I here?" she asked.

Regina sighed. "It's okay, Emma. You were just here to see Henry but he went to bed a little while ago."

Emma looked at Regina again and got up. She narrowed her eyes and stared at her for a long time. "Who are you?" she finally asked.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I know this chapter is super short but I wanted to give you guys something to let you know I'm still alive. Much longer chapter coming soon!**

Regina's heart sank. "Emma, it's me, Regina."

"I don't know you." Emma's face was still and emotionless.

Regina's mind raced. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. This wasn't supposed to be what Emma would forget. "Listen, you drank a forgetting potion and you don't remember me but I'm your friend." Regina's voice was pleading. "Let's go to Mr. Gold, okay? He can help." She reached out to take Emma's arm, but Emma slapped her hand away.

"Get away from me."

"Emma, please, I'm trying-"

"I don't care what you're trying to do, I don't know who you are and I want to leave." Emma looked around the room and then walked toward the door.

Regina stood there, helpless, as she watched Emma walk out and slam the door behind her. She felt her heart pounding loudly as she ran her fingers through her hair and started to pace the room. This was a disaster. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. There had to be a way to fix this. Gold would know. But her mind flashed back to all those stories in Henry's storybook- where there was no cure.

She was walking toward the door when she heard Henry.

"Mom?" he called. He started to make his way down the staircase. "I heard Emma, is she here?"

"Henry, go back to bed. Emma was here but she just left and I have to go run some errands."

Henry continued coming down the stairs and stopped at the base, staring at her. "Mom, I know you're lying."

"I'm not. Henry, please go back to bed."

"You're frantic, Mom, and that means you're not telling the truth."

"I'm not going to ask you again, Henry."

Henry paused and tilted his head. "Think for a moment, okay? Think about whether or not I deserve to know."

Regina pointed upstairs. "Bed. Now." She felt a tear slide down her cheek and her lower jaw began to shake. She couldn't deal with this, not now.

Henry narrowed his eyes and spun around. He stomp back up the stairs and closed his bedroom door.

Regina's vision grew blurry as she tried to control the tears in her eyes that threatened to spill. Everything happening was wrong and it was all her fault. She should have never put her diary in that room or made Emma drink a potion that would make her forget what happened. Regina didn't know how she could have messed up the spell that badly, but she did and she had only herself to blame.

Regina sped outside, not bothering to close the door behind her. After so many mistakes in her life that she wasn't able to fix, she was determined to put this one right.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you everyone for taking the time to read and review, it means the world to me to know what you think. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but the story will probably be wrapping up soon. Don't worry though, I still have a few more surprises in store for you. :) Enjoy!**

It was midnight.

Regina slumped against a lamp post and took shaky breaths. Her hair was plastered to her face and she was drenched in sweat, shaking uncontrollably. She watched her breath make small clouds of vapor in the dim, yellow light. She gritted her teeth and willed herself not to cry. She was stronger than this. She had faced worse.

Regina had looked everywhere. She had searched all throughout downtown Storybrooke and everywhere within a five mile radius of her house, first walking, but later running as panic set in.

And this was where she ended up, leaning against a lamp post, gasping for breath, and trying not to think of the worst.

 _She had changed Emma._ Not only did she not recognize Regina, but something else was different about her too. Regina knew her and she had acted in a way that was not like the Emma she knew at all. It was like the walls that her family had spent so long trying to break down had built themselves back up.

What would Henry think? What would the town think? She had spent so long trying to earn a fraction of their trust and now… this. How could she expect them to ever trust her again?

A thought flashed through her mind and she covered her mouth to let out a muffled sob. There was only one way she could possibly fix this and that way involved telling someone everything that had happened.

She had to go to Mr. Gold.

Regina ignored the sign stating the store was closed and opened the door. She walked in and closed it behind her, breathing deeply as she tried to muster up the courage to turn around and face the front desk.

"I figured I'd see you soon, Dearie."

Regina cleared her throat and looked down. "Yeah," she said softly. She released the doorknob and turned around to face him.

Mr. Gold looked up and did a double-take on her. He put down the rag he was using to polish an old relic. "Looks like someone had an interesting night."

Regina touched her sweat-soaked hair and her lower lip began to quiver as the events leading up to this flashed through her head. She clenched her teeth harder and stared him down. "I need your help," she said.

Mr. Gold nodded once and waited for her to continue.

"I have to find Emma."

Gold tilted his head ever so slightly. "You know what my price is."

Regina swallowed. "Yes."

"Tell me why."

A single tear fell from her eye and she hastily wiped it away with the back of her hand. "It's my fault, everything that happened tonight." She took another deep breath. "I needed the potion you gave me so that I could make Emma forget-" Regina felt the words in the back of her throat, but saying them was the hardest thing she had done that night. "To make her forget that I love her."

Mr. Gold raised his eyebrows. "I see."

"And, of course, I messed up the potion you gave me and now she doesn't even know who I am now and that's not even the worst part because the person she is now isn't really who she is and it's all my fault because I'm the one who gave it to her and I'm never going to be able to look her or her family in the eyes again because I'm the one who broke her." It was then that Regina realized there were tears falling down her face, but she didn't try to stop them this time. She just looked down and let them hit the floor. Her voice was almost a whisper when she spoke again. "I made a mistake, Rumple," she said. "And I don't know how to fix it."

When she met Mr. Gold's eyes again, she was surprised to find pity in them. "I said I would help you find her, and I will," he said. "but I can't fix this either. This is powerful magic, Regina. You know that."

"I know." Regina's voice was quiet but steady.

"You're not angry?" Mr. Gold asked. "With a fiery spirit like yours, I would have thought you'd put up a fight."

Regina shook her head and looked down again. She smiled humorlessly. "I have no room left for anger."

Mr. Gold sighed. "Let's go find her."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: For those of you wondering, this is set after the Neverland arc but before Emma and Henry go live in NYC. (I'm kinda sorta pretending that never happened for the purposes of this fic so bear with me.)**

 **This is also most likely the final installment so thank you everyone for joining me on the ride. Your support means everything to me. Enjoy!**

"So you've searched everywhere?" Gold asked.

"Everywhere I can think of. All around downtown and in the Sheriff's station and everything." Regina brought a hand to her forehead. "I just don't know where else to look."

"Did you check your house?"

Regina furrowed her brow. "How could she be in my own house? I saw her leave."

"Think about it this way: she was lost and confused. She didn't remember you but she remembered Henry and she could have easily remembered he was staying at your house. My guess is that she left the house, but didn't know where to go and decided to turn back around and get Henry."

"The door's locked."

Gold raised an eyebrow. "This is Emma we're talking about, locked doors don't hold her back for long."

Regina sighed. "I guess that would be the last place to check."

Without another word, Mr. Gold waved his hand and they were standing outside Regina's house. A shiver went down her spine as the cold air hit her. "Let's go." She started walking towards the door.

"Regina?"

She turned around.

"I'm going to leave this to you, Dearie," Gold said, "you know what to do." Without giving her a chance to respond, he was gone in a cloud of smoke.

Regina stood there, blinking for a moment before turning the doorknob to find that it was, indeed, unlocked. Her heart began to race. Emma was actually here. She opened the door and stepped inside before running up the stairs two at a time.

She knocked softly on Henry's door and opened it. "Henry?"

What she saw would have made her melt inside under different circumstances. In the dimly-lit room, Regina could make out Henry and Emma sitting cross-legged on the bed. They were leaning close to each other, as if they had just been sharing a secret that no one else knew.

"Hey, Mom," said Henry.

"Hey." Regina tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear and leaned against the door frame. "Listen, Henry, I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier. I wasn't thinking straight." She turned to Emma. "And I know you don't know me, but I know you and I know I shouldn't have acted the way I did towards you tonight. I'm sorry."

Much to her surprise, Emma smiled. "Don't worry, Henry's been telling me all about you."

Regina took a step back. "Sorry, what?"

"Yeah, he says he figured out I was under some kind curse that made me forget you. I didn't believe him at all at first, but this kind of thing has happened before, when I came here. Back when he made me first believe in magic. And if there's anyone in the world I can trust, it's my son so I think I've decided to believe him."

Regina opened her mouth and closed it again. This was not the kind of response she was expecting at all.

Henry piped up then. "I told her everything, Mom. About all the stuff you guys have been through and how you basically owe each other your lives."

Emma nodded. "Also, my memory feels like it's been replaced with fog or something right now and this seems like a pretty good explanation for that."

Regina walked over to the bed and sat down next to them, suddenly dizzy. Her heart sank. "So I guess I have to start all over again?"

The corner of Emma's mouth twitched to formed a half-smile. "Well, Henry and I were talking and I think we should try something first."

"Okay, what is it?"

Emma locked eyes with Regina for half of a second before leaning in and kissing her. Regina was taken by surprise but slowly closed her eyes as she felt the Savior's lips move across her own. It was the most incredible feeling Regina had ever experienced. Regina reached up and placed her hand on the small of Emma's back and pulled her closer.

Suddenly, Regina felt an immense force radiating outwards from the place where their lips met. They were thrown back and took a moment to regain their balance on the bed.

"Regina?"

Regina's eyes darted up to meet Emma's eyes. "Emma?"

Emma laughed. "Holy shit, Regina, I remember you."

Regina's heart jumped in her chest. "How did you- Are we-?"

"I don't know but have I ever told you how gorgeous you look?"

Tears prickled in Regina's eyes. "Emma." She wrapped her arms around her and held on tight. It was a hug to make up for all the time they had spent dancing around each other, for all the time they had doubted that the other one felt the way they did.

Henry tapped them on the shoulders. "Guys, I'm here too."

Emma laughed and wrapped one arm around him. "Yeah, kid. You are."

They sat there for a long time in blissful peace, arms wrapped around each other. Finally, Regina spoke. "I guess things are going to be different now."

Emma gave Regina a look so full of love and longing, Regina wondered how she hadn't seen it before. "I sure hope so." Emma leaned over and planted a kiss on the top of her head.

"I sure hope so."


End file.
